Sunday, 11 January 2015

10 Vegan Jokes - Funny or Not

athiest vegan crossfitter joke

I've mentioned this one before, and I must say I've used it with irony.

I don't like this 'joke' - as it makes fun of people who are proud of sensible, well grounded beliefs and want to make a difference in the world, and so, yes, they tend to talk about it.

Though to be honest I am an atheist and have never started a conversation like this (apart from perhaps at a Richard Dawkin's book signing) and I have learnt not to 'boast' about being a vegan already.

I don't know what a CrossFitter is - I am guessing something to do with exercise... (googles it) yes - so something healthy then.

Seems like people who find this funny may find atheism, veganism and exercising exasperatingly 'silly' and don't like to engage in a conversation about these things and face up to truth.

On the other side, yes sometimes people who are proud of themselves are annoying. But you have to ask yourself why they bother you so much.

how do you know if someone is vegan joke

Well here is some comedy gold. Just put anything in an internet meme format and you're a hit.

I don't really 'get' this one. Why does the person want to know? Are they cooking for a vegan? In which case, of course they will tell you as they don't want to eat animal products. 

I don't find these 'jokes' offensive - just a bit... shit so far.

murderer joke

I 'loled' at this one - thought it was going to be unoriginal but then wham. Read the bottom line. Dark, dark, comedy. 

vegan zombie joke

I like this one too - as Cynaide and Happiness tends to be cute and crude.  I know this goes through a lot of people's heads when people talk veganism (which is why I don't do it) Let the zombie find out for himself - he will live much longer if he eats vegetables as there will only ever be so much rotting human flesh left!

smug vegan joke

It's true, we are smug. 

evil animals vegan joke

Fair point, well drawn.

Innocent plants joke

Oh! I see what they've done here! Oh thats so clever! Isn't it though?! No, no it is not. Poor thing.

Is it organic? Snow White Joke

Not really a vegan joke, but I like this. She should be asking questions about where her food comes from; if she did, she might not have died from eating a poisoned apple and then forced to marry some guy who kissed her when she was presumed dead.

Vegetarian Zombie - vegan joke

I like this one!

Definition Vegan - joke

This again. OK, then what on earth is everybody else? Unless you don't eat fruit and vegetables - in which case, you are slowly murdering yourself. Ohhhh snap.


  1. Some of these are really good! The one about give them two minutes and they'll tell you is a bit grounded in fact though! At least it was for me in my early plastic vegan days (or my vegan puberty, to steal a phrase), I would mention it at every opportunity (only to people I knew well though!) only because I found it so fascinating and thought people would be as interested in knowing about the cruelty behind farming as I did. Now I realise that no one gives a damn, I only bring it up when offered food that isn't vegan-friendly.

    But the mass murder of vegetables thing is just desperate. I think people who make that kind of comment are trying to deflect any guilt they feel about animal cruelty with a sad attempt at a joke. It could be kinda funny if done correctly, but it just seems bitter and petty, really. It reminds me of the people who make a point (and make it and make it) that vegans are hypocrites because mice get killed when grain is harvested and think that no one else eats grain but vegans *sigh*

    Heh the smug self-importance one:

    Breatharianism. It's a thing.

    1. hahah Yes I find myself announcing it too (thankfully normally with good reason - like in a restaurant!) and give myself a little kick - such a stereotype!

      Yeh the vegetable killing is very old and not clever - I don't think I would even respond if someone tried that one on me now - just walk away.

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